Thursday, September 11, 2008

Another new poem, YAY!

(haha) This one was inspired by a beautiful Spanish poem, the Hymn to the Coming Messiah, begging Our Lord to return to us. I have made more than one attempt to translate it, but it is coming very slowly! The language is so complicated that even in the richness of English it's hard to match the wonder of the Spanish. However, taking the theme and the rhythm and rhyme scheme, I came up with

Veni, Domine

Look downward, Master dear,
From Thy great throne on high,
And hear our lonely cry,
In a thousand dreadful fears;
For we wander in this drear,
Dreadful night of death and sin,
And our wailing, weak and thin,
Rises from this vale of tears.

O, many a day have we
Pleaded Thee to come to us,
And save from the treacherous
Foes who fain would drag us down;
We fight the raging sea
And, struggling, blind, dismayed,
We call on Thy mighty aid,
Without which we all must drown.

O Lord, Who in Galilee
The raging storm didst still
And, coming, didst fulfill
Every prophecy of yore,
By the Cross of Calvary
And the Blood Thou there didst spill,
Come, O Lord, from Heaven's hill -
Come and save us all once more!

6 comments:

crusader88 said...

We fight the raging sea
And, struggling, blind, dismayed,
We call on Thy mighty aid,
Without which we all must drown.


The sea is the world, correct? In that case I can relate to it. While resisting the wiles of the world is our lot as Christians, I find that I feel closer to God by being moved by the forces of metaphor. When I am at the beach, probably the best part is merely standing and letting the water carry you. Likewise in rainstorms ferocious when everyone else stays dry inside, I feel at peace by going out and letting the rain whip me, drench me, and the wind move me with the weight of destiny. By symbolically accepting the currents of nature, I feel closer to the Author of Nature. Do you ever feel such a draw to the forces of nature, Agnes?

Agnes Regina said...

"Do you ever feel such a draw to the forces of nature, Agnes?"

Yes, I do! Gray days make me sleepy; not so storms. I love going out into the biggest thunderstorms and letting the rain lash me and the wind tear at my hair. My biggest thrill, and not one I can enjoy often, or I'd get scolded, haha... but I get my chance when I get caught in a storm on the way home from school... fun! And oh, I love the sea, though I haven't had many chances to plunge into it. My last chance, in Argentina, I took, though it was winter -- I gathered my skirts up and plunged in up to my knees... wow, was the water cold!

And yes, the sea is the world... I'm sure I am the least of the many poets who must use that metaphor.

Don McMaster said...

Inés! I think this is really good--please, please keep developing your God-given gift for poetry!

I may be able to come up with a few "quibbles" or suggestions to make this poem even better, as I did with your Christmas poem on Fish Eaters--though probably not this morning before I go to work. Speaking of Fish Eaters, though--have you tried to get into the discussion forum in the last 12 hours or so? I keep getting an error message that says the forum is at least temporarily disabled! I sent Joe (QuisUtDeus) an e-mail about it, but I haven't heard back.

Just in case the forum has suddenly vanished forever, or at least for a dismayingly long time, would you mind sending me an e-mail (dmcmaster@locl.net), or letting me know some way to get in touch with you so I can send you my sequel to "An Ever-Maiden Wife" when I get it done? (I've got well over 150 lines written, including some added to the part where St. Joseph is deciding what to do without knowing the truth, and I'm up to the point where the angel has actually told him the truth.) I would really hate to lose touch with you, querida hermanita en Cristo y poesía, even if the raging sea swallows countless discussion forums!

Blessings,

Don McMaster

P.S. You be careful in those thunderstorms!

Agnes Regina said...

Hello, Mr. McMaster! I look forward to getting your suggestions. Yes, FE seems to have fallen out from under us suddenly!

No more thunderstorms, so I'm enjoying the cooler weather they brought us. The sky's pretty clear now.

Thanks again!

crusader88 said...

Going into the Argentinian sea in winter in skirts? You have me beat.

Agnes Regina said...

haha... well, you try it sometime! :)